Nightmare

Ugh where do I even begin...

It's me, Justin. Good to be back in the land of the living.

I don't actually remember how I got put into a coma, but I remember the coma itself. Most of it, anyway.

It started with darkness.

Then I started having dreams.

Just normal dreams, for the most part. But then there was the nightmare. The same one I suffer from a lot of the time. I guess it's about time I talked about it. It's really more of a memory...

It's a scene from several years ago. I'm at the old church with the gang. Terrence, Ciel, and Greg were all with me, and we were waiting on a call from our boss, Rillek. When he finally did call, he was panicked. He said that proxies were coming, and that we needed to get out of there. So get out of there we did.

We snuck out through the back of the church, but as we did, I saw them. The proxies were just a short distance away from the church's front entrance. But someone was standing in their way.

He was my age, with shaggy brown hair and a black and white plaid hoody on. I recognized him immediately.

Daniel Xavier Ferris. My old friend.

We had had a falling out when I joined the Timberwolves. He was pissed about it, and we almost came to blows. Except that he decided to just take a deep breathe and walk away before it escalated that much.

And now he was there, stalling the proxies before they could catch us off guard.

And what did he get for it?

Bullets. Several of them. The proxies just opened fire on him and gunned him down.

I was stunned for a few seconds, but once those few seconds were up, I did the one thing my instincts were shouting at me to do. I raised my scythe and ran towards them all, screaming.

A few minutes of receiving and dishing out pain later, and I stood over the lifeless bodies of all those proxies, bloody and bruised and crying. The details of the fight are a blur. I don't know how I pulled through. All I remember is rage.

I relived that several times during the coma, in between the more normal dreams. But one instance was different from all the others. It played out mostly the same, until it got to the end. After the fight.

I was standing there, still reeling from everything that had happened, when I heard a voice.

"You know," it said. "From the number of times you've relived this, it's almost as though you like watching me die."

I turned to see that Daniel was now casually laying on the pavement, unharmed, with his eyes closed and his hands resting behind his back.

"Just the opposite," I said.

He gave me a soft chuckle.

"I know," he said. "I'm just teasing you. You should probably clean yourself up."

"How am I supposed to get home?" I asked.

"It's your dream," Daniel said. "Why would you need to?"

Good point. I got rid of all the blood and injuries.

"So is this a lucid dream?" I asked. "I feel... normal."

"It's complicated," Daniel said, standing up.

He seemed older. Taller. His hair was definitely longer...

"You're in a coma," he said. "And not a normal one."

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"Wish I had some more time to delve into explanations, but the suns about to come up, and I won't be able to talk then," he said.

I looked up at the sky. It was daytime still.

"The sun's been up," I said.

"Not that sun," he told me. "You're dreaming, remember? I meant the real sun."

And then he turned to stone. Weird...

I tried yelling at him to wake him up again, but it didn't work, and things kinda went black again. Then I started dreaming again. But no I was completely lucid throughout all of them.

It felt like ages before I saw Daniel again. He just appeared in another of my dreams.

"Hey," I said. "It's really you, right?"

"Yeah," he said. "Does that weird you out?"

"Yeah," I said. "I mean, you're dead, right?"

"Not my favorite topic," he said. "Let's just leave it at 'it's complicated' for now."

"Okay," I said "So... what's the deal with the lucid dreaming? You know something about that, right?"

"Due to the nature of this coma, a bridge has been formed between your conscious and subconscious minds," he said.

"What do you mean 'the nature of this coma'?" I asked. "Just what kind of coma is this?"

"It's complicated?" he replied.

"Well, if this is all lucid dreaming, can't I make you tell me?" I asked.

"You can control your dreams, but you can't control me," he said. "I'm my own dream."

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

"It's complicated," he said.

"You're like a broken record, aren't you?" I asked.

"Shut up," he said. "The good thing about all this is that I can finally talk to you."

"You couldn't before?" I asked.

"Not really," he said. "The subconscious mind is weird. Don't question it too much."

"Look, if this really is you, I've wanted to say...," I said, hesitating a bit, "I'm sorry..."

"Sorry for what?" he asked.

"It...," I muttered. "It should've been me..."

He was silent for a minute, just staring at me. It was then, for the first time, that I noticed his eyes. His irises were a dark orange, and his pupils were the shape of sideways rectangles.

"It was you," he finally said.

"What?" I asked, taken aback.

He stretched out his hand, offering it to me.

"Let me show you something," he said.

I nervously took his hand, and we were back in the old church. I could see another of myself, along with Ciel, Greg, and Terrence.

"This is that day," I said.

"Not quite," Daniel said. "This is that day in a different world."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The subconscious is weird," he said. "I can use it to create bridges... no, more like windows. Into other worlds. What we're looking at is a memory from a world where things played out differently."

The scene happened almost exactly as I've always remembered it, up until the phone call. As I was talking to Rillek, the proxies barged in and gunned Greg down. A fight broke out, and while the rest of us held our own for a little while, we couldn't win against them. They killed us all.

"That's enough," Daniel said, and the scene faded to black.

"Shit," I said.

"I know," Daniel said. "This is a world I let you die. So don't look at me and say it should've been you."

And then he turned to stone again.

I went a little longer before running into him again. This time, he was kind of just chilling out in a dream alley. I had had some time to think things over, and I now had a question that I seriously needed to ask him.

"Daniel, I need to know," I said. "Are you the Grotesque?"

For context, the Grotesque is another Fear. I don't know much about it, other than that is gets in people's dreams, then corrupt them and trap people inside them.

"No," Daniel said confidently. Before I had a chance to sigh in relief, he pointed to something behind me and added "That's the Grotesque."

I spun around and caught a glimpse of some... thing darting out of sight.

"What the hell!?" I gasped.

"Don't worry," Daniel said, pointing at one of his weird eyes. "I've got my eyes on it."

He then offered me his hand again.

"This again?" I asked.

"I feel like I should let show you this," he said.

I shrugged and took his hand. We were transported to a high bridge over a river.

"So what kind of world is this one?" I asked.

"One where my parent's never divorced," he said. "One where I never moved to So Cal. One where we never met."

"Whoa," I said.

I then noticed another of him standing near the side of the bridge. He was younger, and wore a dark brown jacket.

"I was corrupted in this world," my Daniel said. "Only for a couple minutes, but in those moments, I did something I could never forgive myself for. The guilt ate away at me for years, until it culminated in this moment."

The younger Daniel took a deep breathe and approached the edge of the bridge. I made to try and stop him, but my Daniel stopped me.

"Keep watching," he said quietly.

Everything changed suddenly. The sky went black.  Not nighttime or storm black. Pitch fucking void black. The bridge turned a deep blue, but that same blue was rapidly peeling away to expose a dark black, that seemed to be leaking blood. Everything else in sight seemed to just vanish. And above us, looming in the sky, was an aurora of crimson light.

"Stop, young one," came a voice from the aurora. It sounded oddly feminine, but was terrifying as well. "Does it hurt so much?"

"I want it to end!" the younger Daniel cried out in desperation and fear. "I'm sick of the guilt! I'm sick of the shame!"

"Then allow me to take it away from you," the voice replied.

"What?" Daniel gasped. Then, with what I think might have been hope in his voice, he asked "Can you do that?"

"Allow me to consume you," the voice said. "I shall take away all of your guilt, all of your pain, and replace it with strength. I shall make you my vessel."

The aurora spread out as it spoke, encircling the younger Daniel slowly.

"Let the redness take hold," it said. "And I promise you, you shall never feel guilty again."

Daniel hesitated, before straightening up and staring defiantly into the redness.

"Do it!" he shouted. "Take this pain away from me!"

And with that, the light all flooded into him, and he collapsed. We were suddenly back on the bridge, and he crouched on his hands and knees, his body contorting in pain. I wanted to do something about it, but my Daniel shook his head.

"This is a memory," he said. "Neither of us can help him here."

The cries of pain faded away, only to be replaced with a slow laughter. the young Daniel's hair and coat both began to slowing fade from their dark brown to a deep fiery red, and his laughter increased in volume, becoming maniacal. I took a couple steps to try and get a better look at him, and saw that the same red light from that aurora was glowing within his eyes.

"My death is your worst nightmare," my Daniel said. "This is mine."

The scene vanished, and we were back in the alley.

"You mean, turning into a monster?" I asked.

"I'm already a monster, he replied. "But at least I haven't lost myself yet."

He turned to stone again.

My next meeting with him didn't come for a while. When it did, I had a request for him.

"I wanna see more of it," I said. "The world where you live and I die."

"No," he said. "You may wish I had survived that day, but that world is a lot more painful to both of us than you realize. Perhaps another time. When we can both handle it."

"You suck," I said.

He thought for a minute.

"Maybe," he said. "Maybe I can show you a world where we both live. Yes, it's a bit of a dystopia, but you may get something valuable from it..."

"Alright," I said. "Let's see it."

I took his hand, and we ended up in some kind of underground base. I was lying bandaged up on a dirty couch, while a bunch of people wearing the Slender Man's symbol. One of them I recognized as Daniel. He had bandages over his mouth, and his shorter hair was spikey, but it wasn't fooling me. A girl there was yelling at him.

"You brought an Apostle here!" she shouted. "And not just any Apostle, but the goddamn Halo! Do you have any idea how reckless you're being!?"

"Shut up!" Daniel snapped, then he immediately clutched at his face, wincing in pain.

The girl went from sour to sweet fast, and reached out to try and touch him.

"Careful!" she said. "Your mouth..."

He smacked her hand away and tore the bandages from his face, revealing a recent burn wound on the corner of his mouth.

"I told care about the wound!" he growled. "I'm sick of being quiet. You're going to listen to me."

She took a step back.

"The doctor and the newborn have joined forces and brought this world crumbling down," he said. "Our only chance of stopping them is to do the same! Like it or not, we need help."

"He's our enemy," the girl said.

"He's my friend, Myrir!" Daniel snapped, once again wincing in pain.

"Thanks!" said the me on the couch. "I appreciate it."

The girl, Myrir, shot me a glare.

"Look," the other me said. "I'll trade you some intel if you let me crash here til I recover. Shouldn't take long. And we can discuss a partnership afterwards."

Some muttering went around. Myrir shot Daniel a look.

"Just go with it," he muttered.

"Fine," Myrir said. "What's this intel you've got?"

The other me produced a pair of nunchucks from his coat. The then combined them into a staff. The then drew a sword and attached it to the staff to form a scythe.

So cool.

I want one.

"Our enemies are working on a new weapon," the other me said. "Bigger, stronger, and significantly more impractical than mine. But, in the hands of someone with, say, I don't know, absurd super strength? It could be a valuable asset in the resistance."

"Breaker?" Myrir asked, turning to Daniel. "What do you think?"

"The Apostles are good when it comes to information," Daniel said. "And I trust Justin with my life."

And then the scene ended.

"So what was that?" I asked. "A lesson in friendship?"

"I'll let you decide what to take from that," he said. Then he looked to the sky and smiled. "Oh, good. You're coma's almost over."

"What?" I asked.

"Wake up," came a new voice.

Then I was in bed. There was a guy I didn't know there, so I decked him in the face. Than I talked with Terrence for a bit, and the new guy, Matt I guess, said he might have a position for me or some shit, but Daniel's voice popped into my head saying it was a bad idea. So I declined.

So yeah, I guess we're all caught up now. I'll figure shit out later.